Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
