I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
