I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize