My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
