you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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