i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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