i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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