her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dicks are not precious.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
