Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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