How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Holy shit dude........stairs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
