Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
