Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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