how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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