it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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