This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
