One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
