He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
