Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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