White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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