sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
