he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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