Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
