the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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