Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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