so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
