You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
