this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
