yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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