The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
