grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dicks are not precious.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
