you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Someone came in the potted fern
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
