Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
love makes seman taste better
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
