You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
