She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
