Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
