I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im six kinds of drunk right now
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
