Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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