dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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