He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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