Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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