I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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