i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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