I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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