it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
