Non-Jews are for practice
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
