I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
