Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
