Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
