I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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