I'm gonna have a badass scar
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
