She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
