The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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