I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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