he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
