Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize