i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's shark week go big or go home
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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