She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize