I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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