U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
