i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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