Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
