i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
