She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
